When considering grief, an uncontrollable rollercoaster ride of emotions such as a sense of loss, heartache and confusion is often what most people think of. In general, grief is most commonly connected to experiencing the death of a loved one. However, grief can take on many shapes and sizes. It is important to recognise and acknowledge these forms when undergoing major life changes as it can play an important role in shaping how an individual and family experience and interact with the world around them in the present and in the future.
A stroke survivor experiences many changes after a stroke that can leave them feeling like they are no longer who they once were. These range from changes in personality, physical ability and cognitive ability and often brings about loss of things that an individual dearly valued about themselves. Many times, these changes extend past a stroke survivor and impact family and loved ones. This can be an exceptionally challenging time as both the stroke survivor and those closest to them must come to terms with the daunting task of adjusting to the new normal. The emotional rollercoaster of grief after a stroke is frequently not one that is experienced alone.
The feeling of being totally disorientated, anxious and frightened on a rollercoaster is normal as you ride the ups and downs – and the same goes for grief. Grief for many is continuous after a stroke as life does not fully return to normal after rehabilitation. It can take months to years of hard work and determination to improve physical and cognitive abilities. However, depending on the stroke some damage can be permanent. Keeping this in mind, the aim is then not about stopping the tumultuous rollercoaster that is grief, it’s more about how to ride it out until the rollercoaster slows down enough for it to be tolerable.
Open and honest communication between loved ones and carers (as individuals and as a family) is an important aspect of working through grief after a stroke as everyone involved experiences stages of grief in their own unique way. Prioritising frequent check-ins with each other seems simple enough but can be challenging to implement when there are 101 other important things to do like hospital visits, doctors’ appointments and other normal daily activities such as cooking and looking after kids. It’s vital then to allocate specific time to finding out where loved ones are emotionally and physically. Feeling heard and allowing others a space to speak their feelings can drastically increase support for one another which is vital for a stroke survivor and their loved ones. This will help keep everyone continuously connected and can be useful particularly for the tough stages of a stroke survivors’ rehabilitation.
It’s important to remember, a rollercoaster isn’t as scary to ride if you know you have someone you trust sitting with you during the ups and downs. Cultivating an environment where people feel safe to experience their grief after a stroke is imperative in helping everyone come to terms with the changes and challenges that the stroke has brought to their lives, in their own timew